Fast track to heaven?

The other day I asked one of my friends “If you were to explain fasting to a person who isn’t a christian and doesn’t know anything about it, what would you say?” Their reply was “putting aside everything to focus of God.”

Last Saturday was my first experience with fasting. (title makes sense now right? hahaha) My church had a ‘Sacred Saturday’, the first of many, hopefully.  Basically our Pastor invited anyone who wanted to join in to hang out at church and fast for the day. It wasn’t compulsory, and no one was shunned for eating or not coming to church, it was merely a time for us to come together and spend time out of our busy lives to focus on God and just be with Him.

I thought the whole day would be really hard and I would be a starving wreck by the end of it, because usually I can’t go without eating past lunch time without flaking out.. But this time I didn’t really care that I wasn’t eating! Not even when my parents cooked up a huge feed of bacon and eggs and delicious stuff.. I was fine with my water! Anyway, my eating habits aren’t what I originally intended to talk about..

I feel like fasting for that short amount of time just gave me a clarity with God that I don’t normally have. A clarity in the sense that it was like He was right behind me telling what I needed to pray for, something I haven’t really experienced before. Usually I have to really think about what I’m praying for, but this time it all just flowed through my head something crazy!

After our fasting day, I’ve felt this strange peace and confidence around me. It’s like He is following me around just surrounding me. And I know this sounds weird and kinda vain and stupid, but I’ve felt really.. Beautiful. It’s like I am so full of the Lord and the Holy Spirit that it’s overflowing out of me and I mean, what could be more beautiful than that? It’s a strange feeling, but for the time being, all of my insecurities have just been shoved off to the side to make room for this huge amazing God.

By putting aside a thing that everyone thinks is so super important just for one day, I have realized how much of me there is to be filled with God, it makes me think of another Gungor song, called “Cannot Keep You” This is the part of it that it reminds me of the most:

“They tried to keep you in a tent
They could not keep you in a temple
Or any of their idols, to see and understand

We cannot keep you in a church
We cannot keep you in a Bible
Or it’s just another idol to box you in

They could not keep you in their walls
We cannot keep you in ours either
For you are so much greater

So we will find you in the streets
And we will find you in the prisons
And even in our Bibles and churches

We cannot contain, cannot contain
The glory of your name
We cannot contain, cannot contain
The glory of your name”

In the song it talks about how we try to keep God in all these places we think are holy, but in reality, HE IS EVERYWHERE!!!  We are filled with Him and His Spirit and his endless beauty and if you can’t get excited about that then I don’t even know because it’s just such an amazing concept to grasp! He is alive, and He is in me and you and the next person. We cannot contain His glory!
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Anxious about everything.

I have suffered with depression for almost 5 years now, and I’ve learned to live with it. What I haven’t come to terms with yet is the anxiety that came on a few months ago as a side effect of my depression.

I have panic attacks triggered by almost anything – a thought, a picture, seeing someone that intimidates me, talking in front of people, even just waking up sometimes gets the better of me. I think I could deal with the attacks better if they weren’t so blatantly obvious! I think the fact that I know I can’t really hide it just makes it worse.

I get so frustrated with God because there are certain things at my church that are out of my power to change that turn me into a mess just at the thought of them. I could so easily overcome this just by moving churches. Sounds easy right? Not when God tells you that this is where you need to be for another year at least. I have the chance to do a year long internship at church next year, which is 50% ministry and 50% bible study. I’m going to do it in the youth ministry and I am so excited to be able to just completely live for God for the whole year!

I really don’t understand why God would give me such a huge opportunity, an amazing chance to strengthen my faith and grow stronger in Him, but then just chuck such a huge barrier in the way! I get God challenging me, but this kinda just makes me get annoyed with Him! The fact that HE could so easily change it too, I just don’t get it. And it has lead to many crying and kicking and screaming sessions at God.

All throughout this struggle, I have to keep reminding myself that it will be for a greater purpose. God is trying me to prepare me for something bigger and better. I’m trying really hard to just focus on Him and trust in Him that he knows what he’s doing. I have to admit though, sometimes it’s hard to just let God have all the control, but I’m trying, I promise.

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Deuteronomy 30:11-14 (esv)

For this commandment that I command you today is not too hard for you, neither is it far off. It is not in heaven, that you should say “Who will ascend to heaven for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?” Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say “Who will go over the sea for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?” But the word is very near you, it is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.

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Who am I? Who are you?

My name is Georgia, I’m 18 years old and I live in New Zealand. I’ve been a christian for 3ish years, but it was only at the start of this year I really started to live completely for God.

I am here because I need somewhere to share my walk with an almighty God, and all of the challenges I am about to face trying to live my life for Him. Of course I am here to share about His glory and His work in my life too – I guess I’m just here to have someone tag along on my journey. Don’t expect any great lessons in how to be a christian, and please don’t think I am trying to tell others how to live, I’m simply sharing my story.

I chose the url “constantlycreated” after one of my favourite songs of all time – Dry Bones by Gungor. Recently I have found myself in a bit of a dry patch with my walk – I guess I’m not really on fire for God like I have been in the past. While I have kept going to church and reading my bible and acting as I’m supposed to act, my fire for God has kinda gone out. And we all know God don’t like no lukewarm christian. This song, to me, is a constant reminder that God will save us and will make us new, all things new, including my faith. The song talks about raising bones from the dead and how only God can do this. The song tells me that God can raise my light and excitement for him out of the dead and make it new again.

“My soul cries out
My soul cries out for you
These bones cry out
These dry bones cry for you
To live and move
‘Cause only You can raise the dead
Can lift my head up
Jesus, You’re the one who saves us
Constantly creates us into something new
Jesus, surely you will finds us
Surely our Messiah will make all things new
Will make all things new”

My posts will probably be erratic and posted at all hours of the night, so please bare with me! They probably won’t have any relevance to what you’re looking for, and half of them probably won’t even make sense, but I’m not really here trying to please anyone so that doesn’t phase me as much as it should.

I’m excited that I can share my journey with others, that maybe you’ll laugh with me, cry with me, and more than anything, I’m excited that you’ll experience an almightly God in all his glory with me.

I know I’m not perfect, I mess up every day, I fail God everyday too, but I’m trying, I promise..

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